Learning How to “Fly” at Boeing
After my book, The 15 Second Principle, was published, I realized that in the process of writing it, I had become a hermit. And to end my self-imposed solitary confinement, I decided to get back into the world of public speaking by presenting the material in my book to companies and organizations.
However, because my performing skills were quite rusty, I became very anxious whenever I thought about standing on center stage again as a motivational speaker.
In order to lower the stakes and calm myself down, I registered at a Speakers for Free web-site. I figured, anytime I started getting nervous, I could say to myself, “Relax, even if I bomb, they can’t demand their money back.”
The phrase, “Nothing for Nothing” became my relaxing speaking mantra. And this approach worked wonders for six months. Then the Boeing Company had to go and ruin it all by offering me money.
Even though Boeing’s offer was terribly challenging and fear provoking, it was so enticing that I had to accept it. The deal called for me to give the same two-hour presentation six times in the span of two days with show-times being at 7:00 A.M., 11:00, and 3:00 PM. The range of participants would run the gamut from high executives to maintenance workers.
And, and after completing my sixth performance they would hand me a check for $8,000.00.
However, the closer it got to “lift-off-time,” the louder the doomsday drums of professional speaking became. With money on the line, I now had to deliver “something for something.”
To help you fathom the depth of my fear let me share a few things. First, until I was eighteen, I stammered. And some of my childhood terror of public speaking still can get triggered regardless of my age, experience, and preparation.
Second, I’m not a morning person. In fact, in a former life I probably was a bat, vampire, or night dealer in Vegas. Therefore, just the thought of waking up at 5:00 A.M. and standing in front of a crowd of 100 people at 7:00 A.M. with perkiness and enthusiasm oozing out of me was way beyond my comprehension.
And third, to make matters even worse, on the first morning it began raining down cats, dogs, and donkeys, and driving to Boeing felt like a blindfolded Olympic event.
My Early 6:15 Arrival
By the time I discovered the correct parking lot, unloaded my presentation material, and found the unlocked auditorium door -- my shoes, socks, and pants were soaked.
Upon entering the dark, cold, and quiet building, I felt so distraught about my wetness and two-day marathon that my emotions reverted back to when I was eight and on my first overnight camping trip. In the middle of the night a torrential rainstorm entered the tent and visited my sleeping bag, clothing, and chocolate bar. And just as I did then, with tears in my eyes, I began yearning for Mommy and Daddy to save me. But, once again, they never arrived.
After organizing my materials on stage, I rushed into the men’s room to assess the damage. My reflection in the mirror was not encouraging. Being desperate and seeing as there wasn’t anyone around, I took off my pants and socks, turned on the hand dryers, and did some multi-tasking.
WHAT’S A DESPERATE SPEAKER TO DO?
Standing there and shivering, I knew if I didn’t have a miraculous epiphany or invent a brilliant plan real soon, I’d self-destruct the first two minutes on stage. However, other than having a nervous breakdown, paying someone to kidnap me, or hollering “FIRE,” I couldn’t think of where the solution would come from.
In desperation, rather than thinking outside the box, I began living outside of the universe. And thankfully, as my imagination ran through time warps and galaxies, the following scenario entered my mind.
I imagined that as I was heating up my socks, I suddenly died. Then a man with a light blue glow surrounding him entered the men’s room and welcomed me to “The Space.” And without missing a beat he asked, “Are you ready for your assignment?”
“So soon?” I asked.
“So soon,” he answered.
With that, he proceeded to read me my brief job description. “For the rest of eternity, you’ll be speaking at Boeing for six hours every day.”
I wanted to die, but realized it was too late for that.
I begged for an easier gig like doing 10,000 jumping jacks each day or eternally competing in a daily triathlon but he wouldn’t budge.
And even though I feared his response, I asked the next question anyway. “Where am I, heaven or hell?”
He winked and replied, “That’s up to you. You can turn your stage experiences into anything you wish -- heaven or hell.” Wham! Pow! His short yet profound response shot through me like a bolt of profound lightning.
It really was up to me to determine how I was going to spend my 12 hours at Boeing.
However, at that moment, I didn’t have a clue as to how I was going to create more heavenly experiences.
THE FOUR ELEMENTS OF A “HEAVENLY” PERFORMANCE
Luckily, I still had 10 minutes to gather my wits. And somehow, I came up with four elements that might help me to create more “heavenly” and less “hellish” experiences on stage.
1) Being Authentic
I realized that any attempt to fake it by coming out and trying to look cool and confident when I wasn’t, would make it impossible to enjoy my time presenting. In addition, if I had to be on stage forever, I’d better opt for being an imperfect real me rather than trying to appear like a perfect yet inauthentic professional.
“I’ve been told by PR people, ‘Oh man, you’re too open. You’re never going to be a movie star.’”
Therefore, when I entered the stage I took a huge leap of faith by remaining true to my “realness” and shared my early morning drenched experience. I also included being teary-eyed and wanting my Mommy and Daddy to come and save me. The audience howled with empathetic laughter.
“Daring to Be You Only by evolving into yourself, rather than devolving into someone else, will you begin revealing your authentic self.”
Also, in the spirit of remaining authentic, I dealt with any incorrect word spoken, rather than ignoring it. As an example, when I caught myself using “slim” rather than “simple,” I immediately stopped and said, “That’s an interesting slip, that I’ll have to discuss that with Freud later.”
In addition, every time I began a new “show,” because my emotional and physical state always would be different, in order to be authentic and in the moment, I honored my current state of being. In other words, I had to accept and “lead” from where I currently was at, and not try to start from where I wanted to be.
“I decided before the show started that if I’m going to be nervous and worry about things like the way I’m sitting or whatever, the show is going to be just horrible. I knew that if I’m not relaxed, no one watching is going to be relaxed. People are not necessarily going to watch just because they’re a fan of Reba McEntire. So, the vibe has to start with me. I decided I was going to be comfortable, even if it looks like I’m making every single mistake in the world. I figured that if reality television is so big, people will love the show because mistakes are real!”
2) Being Vulnerable
I also gambled by revealing even more of my reality that morning -- including being in the men’s room, shaking in my underwear, and revving-up the hand dryer into overdrive.
What I discovered was the more I dared to expose my vulnerabilities, the freer I felt and the more the audience seemed to relate and connect to me.
“I’m grateful I’ve come to a place where I can be vulnerable and honest and raw and myself and talk about it and not hold back and not make it perfect and pretty.”
3) “Pleasure-ing” Over “Perfect-ing”
Since I was dead and couldn’t get handed a pink slip, I decided to focus on having as much fun as possible while respecting the job at hand. My mantra was, care less while not being careless.
To achieve this, pleasure (once again, in the form of relaxation, energized calmness, self-expression, and trust) had to be my priority and constant state of being. From a performing viewpoint, pleasure is the oxygen that sources the presentation.
Unfortunately, by fixating first on perfection and second on pleasure I could get lured into being too serious and stiff. As well, it would be impossible to be spontaneous. In addition, by relentlessly seeking perfection, even one mistake can cause us to panic, thus creating devastating consequences.
Even though we’re discussing pleasure, I was careful not to tell any jokes. Jokes are very risky unless you’re a professional comedian/comedienne. That’s because the downside of hearing deadly silence after delivering the punch line is much worse than the upside of hearing laughter.
What I did instead was to tell humorous stories with a message -- which usually had worked well in the past.
My “Play-Full” Emergency Back-Up Plan
In the past, whenever I had presented, I always packed an emergency back-up tool - my flute - that I’ve been playing since childhood. And when all else failed to keep me in a playful mode, and I feared I might begin “to bomb” I’d declare a time out and announce a musical intermission.
As it turns out, I was thankful I had brought my instrument because I had to declare a “play-full” timeout at least once during all six sessions.
On Playful Improvising
“Barbra Streisand’s Kick Off 2016 Tour at Staples Center Streisand’s large band was easing into the hushed ‘Papa Can You Hear Me?’ from ‘Yentl,’ the movie about gender and Judaism in Eastern Europe in the early 1900s. Yet an adjustment was in order. Turning her attention to a small table near the edge of the stage, the singer picked up what looked like an unlit candle, turned the thing over and flipped a tiny switch. The decoration flickered to life. ‘They didn’t have these in 1904,’ she said. ‘Too Bad.’”
4) Sharing Not Lecturing
To keep the audiences in a more receptive state, I offered more and taught less. I used expressions such as: “What my experiences have taught me,” “What has helped my clients the most,” and “What my research revealed.”
My overall mantra became: I have nothing to prove -- just something to share. This mission statement helped keep my will to communicate stronger than my need to impress or be respected.
In addition, I made sure I wasn’t speaking too quickly. Oftentimes, people who speak quickly are nervous or trying to impress, hypnotize, or manipulate. On the other hand, when people truly care about something and want to communicate it, they’ll become passionate and slow down their speech – like Martin Luther King Jr.
Also, in the spirit of remaining true to the audiences’ needs and wants, I kept focusing on the audience and honoring Jerry Weissman’s WIFFY approach– What’s In It For You!
To accomplish this, I kept focusing on the benefits my principles would provide rather than spouting the features that my principles contain (Presenting to Win – Jerry Weissman).
The Outcome from Applying the Four Elements
By applying the four elements of authenticity, vulnerability, pleasuring, and sharing, I was able to create many magical moments for myself and synergistic experiences between myself and the audience.
And while I did begin nose-diving on many occasions, what helped pull me out of the tailspin was applying and reapplying the four above elements.
My Post-Performing Revelation
If I had any lingering doubts about the power of my four performing elements, especially the “pleasuring” one, they were put to rest when Boeing mailed me over two hundred participant comment sheets.
While most of the reviews were very complimentary with comments such as my being “very human and real, telling insightful stories, and presenting helpful processes,” the most common, shocking, and hilarious comments could be summed up by, “Next time Al presents,
could he play more flute?”
Really? WOW! Who knew! Amazing! There I was trying to deliver my distilled pearls of wisdom when what many in the audience really wanted was more of me having fun making music.
Conclusion
In closing, you’ll know you’ve been creating “heavenly” experiences for yourself when you feel disappointed when your time “on stage” is up. Likewise, you’ll know you’ve been standing on a “hell” of a stage when you’re relieved your time on the “hot coals” finally is up.
Mohammed Ali’s Charisma
“He had a great sense of humor and he also was self-deprecating. He put himself at the butt of many of his jokes. And it really made everybody around him relax and laugh, and enjoy what was happening.”
