Becoming the C. I. O. of Your Dreams
“To continue “dancing” with my most precious dream (new dance steps and all) until it is born, is the hardest date to keep making and the easiest one to break, yet the most precious partner I’ll ever have. ”
A few years ago, I developed what I considered to be a very empowering course to help people realize their cherished goals. I called it Becoming the CEO of Your Dream.
WhilFe many people expressed interest in the course, only six signed up. I was confused until a friend pointed out that perhaps the title, Becoming the Chief Executive Officer of Your Dream, was too cold-hearted and confronting a title for such a tender and heart-felt endeavor.
I therefore created the more inviting and less intimidating title, Becoming the Chief Inspirational Officer of Your Dream.
Well, the new title attracted 20 passionate participants and we spent many months nurturing their dreams into existence.
THE TOOLS OF THE INSPIRATIONAL TRADE
If and when you decide to become the Chief Inspirational Officer of a Dream, let me share with you what I’ve learned as I’ve helped build many dreams into realities.
What I’ve discovered is that there are reoccurring stages that a dream project often goes through, before it grows into a reality. Being aware of these stages can be very helpful – especially when things get challenging and your fears start magnifying problems.
I suggest that you relate to this material the same way you would a car manual. If things are going smoothly, you may never need to refer to it. However, when and if your dashboard screen lights up, the C. I. O. Dream Manual can come in handy when facing a specific challenge.
1) The Pre-Beginning
Before committing to a goal, here are a few things to consider.
The Passion Probe
Make sure you’re extremely excited about the project and that it’s very meaningful to you and worthy of your heart, time, and money.
“You have to find something that you love enough to be able to take risks, jump over the hurdles, and break the brick walls that are always going to be placed in front of you. ”
The Partnering Up Process
If you’re joining forces with someone, make sure you’re teaming-up because of your own passion and not just because of your partner’s enthusiasm or his/her ability to persuade, hypnotize, or manipulate you. In other words, begin in a “wholehearted state.” Otherwise, at some point, you’ll wind up trapped in a “hell-of-a” project.
“In stone sculpting, an artist taps a stone lightly with a hammer to see if it’s “true.” If it emits a dull tone, it has faults running though it that will crack it apart when you work on it. A clear ring, one that hangs in the air for a moment, means it’s true, has integrity, and most importantly, will hold up under repeated blows.”
Also, to keep your responsibilities balanced, be sure you and your partner share similar goals but have different skill sets and areas of interest.
A Word of Caution: If you decide to break the cardinal rule of business and partner-up or give a loan to a relative or close friend, then at least remember this: “The closer the relationship, the longer and more detailed the signed contract needs to be.”
A Word of Caution: If you decide to break the cardinal rule of business and partner-up or give a loan to a relative or close friend, then at least remember this: “The closer the relationship, the longer and more detailed the signed contract should be.”
2) The Beginning
“On Becoming a Dream Catcher It’s not how many passionate ideas I have that counts the most. What matters most is whether I’m willing to hug one of them long enough to nurture it into existence. ”
Self-Encouragement
Starting to pursue a dream project is a courageous act. Therefore, after breaking the ice and taking your first Heroic action, give yourself a huge pat on the back and let out a resounding Hurray for Me Cheer. Having your vocal chords and bones vibrate with this inspiring acknowledgement can spur you.
Value Every Action
Plan big and act small. While it’s wonderful to have large visions, in order to build a dream into a realty, you’ll have to execute thousands of huge and miniscule actions. Therefore, respect every action – the large and the tiny – because each one is an important element of the building process.
Gathering the Resources
In addition, because dreams usually take much longer to achieve than your initial estimate, budget enough time, energy, patience, and money. (I know, this is easier to write than to do.)
3) Developing Momentum
By taking many focused actions, feelings of movement, aliveness, possibility will be born. (Think of a camp fire that finally “catches on.”)
Maintaining momentum will require:
- continuing to fuel the project by taking directed actions, rather than coasting along.
- making sure not to turn a detour into a dead end,
- tweaking and making adjustments along the way.
4) Creating an Inspiring Journey
Appreciating Your Achievements
Heroic “mountain climbers” allow themselves the luxury of resting, looking down, taking in the view, and acknowledging themselves for how far they’ve come. And, so should you.
Master climbers also know that the biggest pay-offs come from the experience of climbing up and down, and not in just getting to the top for a flag planting selfie shoot. (In fact, due to the thinness of the oxygen levels on the highest of peaks, it’s unsafe to stay on top for very long.)
Declaring Mini-Celebrations Along the Way
Unfortunately, by waiting to celebrate until completing a “journey,” you’ll discover that the party was way too short and unfulfilling for a “trip” that took so long. Also, by postponing any small parties along the way, you risk turning yourself into a malnourished slave of a grueling building process.
“When you embark on a creative, long-term pursuit, that vision at the end of the tunnel isn’t enough to keep you going inch by inch you need something else. I founded Bhance, now one of the largest online networks of creative professionals…. To keep the team engaged, I might say, “We’re going to fix this many bugs in two weeks, and then go out for a special dinner.”
Form a Circle of Support
Rather than favoring isolation, dare to explore the worlds of support and delegation. By doing everything solo for long periods of time, you risk depleting your zest and denying yourself the feelings of inspired camaraderie. The result being, you’ll have to keep relying on a rigid regimen of discipline to get you through.
“Even if he could, only a fool would carry a piano alone.”
Forming a small Dream Makers Support Club also is valuable. The club’s main purpose should be to create a safe space for everyone, with every member becoming the cheerleader for each other’s project. To accomplish this, the critiquing of everyone’s projects should be discouraged. Otherwise, the fan club quickly can devolve into a group of opinionated judges with their “helpful” critiques flying around like deadly darts.
Choose Your Team Wisely
If you feel unworthy or unentitled to build your dream into existence, you unconsciously may sabotage it by staffing it with dream busters rather than dream builders. (Oftentimes, dream busters are smart people who have been too afraid to face their own dream, or have been unsuccessful with their own precious project.)
5) Regrouping After a Setback
After experiencing an emotional, physical, or financial misfortune, Heroes ask the following question. “Now that I’ve been stopped in my tracks, how will I choose to respond? Will I give up or instead, after feeling the pain, expressing it, and recuperating, will I courageously recalibrate and recommit once again? Courageous stamina fueled by passion will be required here.
Also, Heroes are not willing to allow an unexpected speed bump or steep hill morph into The Great Wall of China. (Refer to: After the Wall.)
“It’s O.K. to have a setback and to step back, as long as we dare to step forward again, and have a comeback! ”
Identifying the Source of Doubt
If, after a setback, doubts keep arising, attempt to determine what emotional and physical part of you is speaking? Is it coming from a daring adult or a frightened and intimidated child? Is it coming from past disappointments Does the voice belong to your heart or is it coming from the disempowering echoes of a parent, sibling, teacher, coach, or society?
“The Skill of Spotlighting Heroes dare to keep pointing their “flashlight of possibility” on their heart-felt goal rather than lighting-up their anxieties and apprehensions.”
Secretary of State General Colin Powell, in a television interview, shared some powerful wisdom that his parents instilled in him. “Never let other people’s negative perceptions of you become your own.” His parents obviously knew how contagious other people’s limiting beliefs and prejudices can be.
“Not one drop of my work and self-worth depends on your acceptance of me. I will not let an external force determine who I am. ”
Dealing with a Negative Review
If and when you do receive a negative and painful review, even though it may be 99% useless and false, perhaps there is one percent that can make you, your project, or craft just a little better.
6) Restarting the Project
The ability to begin again is vital to any project yet emotionally it can be very challenging. Therefore, be patient. Daring to return to a painfully interrupted goal will require an enormous amount of bravery and forgiveness. However, by practicing the generous act of self-pardoning, you’ll increase the odds of getting back on your Heroic path.
Also, oftentimes what stops us is not that we haven’t made self-agreements, but rather that we haven’t remained committed to ourcommitments. Therefore, all that’s needed is to start recommitting to our dream vows -- one action at a time -- regardless of our fear-filled emotions, beliefs, and physical state of being.
Attending to the Chatter
One way to determine whether or not to get back on your “creative horse,” is to begin listening to your inner and outer conversations that continue through the days, weeks, months, and years. Do the topics include your “incompletions?” Does your “unfinished business” keep calling out or haunting you? Are you feeling frustrated and incomplete? If so, dare to begin again.
Fortunately, or unfortunately, the only way to silence the pleading voice of incompletion, is to stop debating it, or ignoring it, and to start re-engaging with it. These initial “re-visitations” need not last long nor be productive. Their purpose is to re-familiarize and reconnect with your passion or project, rather than to let your fearful imagination keep running wild.
[A Cautionary Word: If you’re feeling frail and vulnerable and believe that by returning to a project you will risk psychological or physical harm, obviously refrain from moving forward until you’re in a more stable and resilient state.]
7) Rebuilding the Momentum
When enough Heroic actions have been taken, a new round of momentum will have been created. Once again, your mission is to keep feeding and protecting the flow and “heart-beat” of the project.
Oftentimes, this rebuilding of a “critical mass” of momentum will need to be repeated many times over (due to adjustments, and dead-ends), before a dream project will get completed.
What’s most important to know about the restarting process is not to get so shocked whenever your momentum comes to an abrupt and unexpected halt. Rather than getting dejected and prematurely giving up, relax and trust that rebuilding momentum is a natural part of the dream building process.
8) Completing the Journey
Obviously, completing the journey is the final skill to develop. However, this can be extremely challenging especially if you’ve been working alone on a major project without a deadline.
Physically, your stamina and ability to concentrate can be at a very low-point.
Ideally, completing a project should be a self-expressive and celebratory process rather than being a stressful, “survival” based, ego-driven, and/or manic experience.
Also, with completion comes a confronting rite of passage. You’ll be
shedding one familiar identity and expanding into a larger yet unfamiliar one.
Dealing with Resistance to Complete
If you’re having difficulty completing a project, it would be helpful to ask and answer the following three questions.
1) What limiting beliefs (about myself and of what I’m capable of achieving) will I have to release, once I accomplish this goal?
2) Who in my past or present would be proven wrong if I successfully complete this project?
3) Now that I’m about to realize this goal, what’s my next heart-felt mission?
(The problem with not having something new “waiting in the wings,” is that our fear of an empty creative nest can cause us compulsively to keep polishing the current project. This is especially true when writing a book, painting a picture, or editing a film. We can be scared to death to let it go.)
“Art is never finished, Only abandoned.”
Conclusion
There seems to be a misperception that Heroes are thick skinned people who never stop. In reality, Heroes feel deeply and stop all of the time. However, after stopping or getting stopped, they have the willingness to regenerate, regroup, and restart by applying and reapplying the C. I. O. Skills.
Jim Carrey is a great example of a Heroic figure. He stopped several times (after bombing on stage as a young comedian), and yet had the courage to return to his craft and career.
Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen, the creators of the Chicken Soup for the Soul writing empire, had the resilient mantra of saying “NEXT” every time the proposal for their first book was rejected. (The original proposal was turned down by more than 30 publishers before a small publishing house in Florida said, “Yes.”)
